Fixing others

One of the ongoing lessons for me in 2013 is that you cannot fix others and things around you. I like to fix things, provide advice and push people but that isn't always effective. I am in a helping profession that often requires me to do such things and sometimes I carry that over to my personal life.

Perhaps the largest, most agonizing battle I have fought all year. You see I want to fix a particular situation and I have even thought:

• If I lay down the foundation
• If I take away some of the hard work
• If I follow up
• If I spend 30 -40 minutes finding the solution

that maybe I can fix it.

Well, when I do all that I only frustrate both parties. I am also the type that when my solutions don't fix a problem, I walk away. I know that walking away is wrong but sometimes its to avoid saying things that should not be said.

I understand that this is my problem the need to fix someone or something that is out my control and realm of responsibility. In regards to this someone once told me that you can't drive a coal train with the caboose in front that there has to be a proper order to things. In the case of the train you need an engine, coal car and then the caboose. Any other way is ineffective, so just like the train me trying to push the caboose is just not going to work.

And then, I went to church and listened to a wonderful speaker. It's true we are all messed up people and no one is perfect. And something he said really resonated with me, if I am trying to fix someone it's more about me than them. That is so true, me trying to fix a situation, a person is more about me wanting that person to experience, to do the exact same things as me. From that standpoint it's selfish.

So in 2014, I have resolved not to try to fix this situation. I will avoid giving unwanted advice, shouldering any large part of the "work" and pray.  I think that will make the situation a lot bet.

Doing what you say you're going to do

I think by far my biggest challenge in my personal life is doing what I say and following up!

I am a woman of many ideas, thoughts and goals but unfortunately I never convert a vast majority. I don't know whether it's time management, laziness or lack of accountability. On the eve of my 30th trip around  the Sun, I have got to change!

So how can I fix this issue:

1. Handle the small tasks immediately. If it takes 5 mins or less do it now.

2. Build a specific time or schedule to get things done. With a toddler this maybe tough bc she loves to keep me on my toes. 

 3. Use technology to get things done. I have a calendar, email reminders and to do list and need to use effectively. 

4. Set realistic goals! I should not say yes to everything or try to do all this at once !
5. I read about an idea dump (a notebook ) for all the ideas you want to work on but don't have time. I plan to keep that handy and shelf good ideas later. 

At the end of day, it's hard to complete goals, tasks and chores with an incredibly active 14 mos old. Nonetheless my goal (here we go again) is each day work towards reaching my goals. I hope you do to...

Here is to a productive 2014!!